Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Protein Shake Purgatory

Day Two Pre-Op

Pre-op is something I'm taking very seriously.  I'm making sure I have everything in order and on my Ps and Qs (what does that even mean?).

I scheduled my endoscopy for this Friday morning at 6:30am.


I am not a morning person. But, it must be done, and so at 6am on this Friday I will be climbing into an uber and making my way to my appointment.  This is required to make sure there's nothing wrong with my stomach, and that it should heal properly after surgery.  So MUY MUY IMPORTANTE but also MUY MUY INCONVENIENT.  And big shout-out to Tassie for being willing to take responsibility for me when I leave the appointment after being under anesthesia.  That should be a real treat for her.

However, without having actually had the endoscopy, the worst part of this whole pre-op dealy has got to be the protein shakes.  I am on a 2 week long liquid diet before the operation.  This is to shrink my liver so that it's easier to get to my stomach during surgery.

I understand the concept.

But I hate it.

They have a bunch of options that you can choose from which is great.  However, I have a TON of left-over Shakeology from another failed dieting attempt.  So I thought I'd just use that.

I can deal with the Strawberry and the Vanilla.

I canNOT deal with the Chocolate.  It's like... mud-covered expired chocolate on spinach.  It's so bad.  It's like poison.  It's like death. It's like sludge.  It's like the stuff that gunks up the valves in your car.
And the worst part??  IT LOOKS DELICIOUS!  It looks like a thick, delicious dark chocolate milkshake.  You WANT to drink it!  And then you do and it's like swallowing the crypt keeper himself.

I broke down and had some goldfish crackers last night...

I love Gold Fishes cuz they're so delicious.... Gone Gold Fishin'...

And then I felt guilty.  But 2 weeks is a really long time and really overwhelming! I think that's the gist of my emotions at this point in time.  I'm just... overwhelmed.  In every way.  I booked the surgery faster than I expected.  And then I had to go on this liquid diet sooner than expected.  And I have to go have weird things done (endoscopy) really soon.  And in like 12 days, 80% of my stomach will be GONE.

That's a lot to wrap one's mind around.  

I woke up today with a pretty serious headache, and already constipated (sorry, this is gonna get really real, really fast... all in the name of responsible reporting!).  So I think tonight I'm going to have to make some broth with veggies in it to get some fiber.  Also, I'm trying to focus on getting more water.  I want to say yesterday I got something like 30 ounces of plain water.  I'm really bad at getting in my water, but am committed to improving because:

1) high protein diets dehydrate you, so you need more water than normal
2) It will be essential to keeping my skin tight as possible post-surgery
3) mama needs to poop on a fairly regular basis (<-- the Real)

However - I feel like all I do is drink.  I might just float away.... And I miss wine already.  Also, I have been watching as many YouTube videos as I can get my eyes on to try to prepare myself for everything that is about to happen to me.  

Listen up Clusie and MellieMay.  You ladies talking about cheating on your pre-op diets is ruining my life!  Just kidding.  But for real, I can only have a couple of veggies and everything else is liquid and it's awful.  The temptation of cheating (like I did with the goldfish last night) is real.  So i'm going to do my best and stick to this diet to make sure everything goes as smoothly as I can possibly control... but ya'll bitches are killin my vibe right now!  (PS thanks for all of the great tips and help, love you, mean it...)

I've also developed a little bit of an eye twitch which lets me know I'm a bit stressed out...  

Today's Diet:
One (GIANT) cup of coffee with skim milk and 2 packets of truvia
40 Oz. of water
2 Strawberry Shakeology with 4oz water and 4oz almond milk
1 Vanilla Shakeology with 4oz water and 4oz skim milk
2 cups chicken broth and two cups mushrooms
2 ham and cheese wrap-ups... whoopsies....

No comments:

Post a Comment